The Calling Of My Heart

I have often taken the opportunity of April Fool’s Day to make some kind of clever jape, usually of a geocaching variety.  I have, however, come to the realization that I don’t have it in me this year.  In fact, I now know that I am completely burned out on geocaching, writing, and the stresses of the modern world in general.  That is why, with both a heavy and also lightened heart, I must inform you all that I have chosen to shun all those worldly things that have sapped my spirit and will soon be entering monastic seclusion at the Pannonhalma Archabbey.

Founded in 996, it is the oldest monastery in Hungary.  It played host to Godfroi de Bouillon, future king of Jerusalem (if you’re into that kind of thing), in 1096 as he and his host moved east during the First Crusade.  The original buildings were destroyed in 1137 and then rebuilt multiple times over centuries, being reconstructed in gothic style in 1486.  It was later fortified against Ottoman incursions, but intermittently abandoned and reoccupied based on military pressures.  During the 1700s, a baroque style was used for replacing destroyed buildings.  In 1832, the familiar library and tower were constructed in classicist style, providing its current familiar outline.  In 1945, the communist government seized the now archabbey and its holdings, only returning them with the fall of Communism in Hungary. 

Why a monastery in Eastern Europe you may ask?  The biggest reason is because the only monastery I know of on a personal level is in a suburb of Laredo (it used to be remote, and the town expanded around it).  I can only speak for myself, but I don’t want to be stuck in a faux-midcentury modern community in South Texas.  Also, I once fell asleep during a homily there twenty-five years ago, so I’m barred from the place.  Now, I will admit that there will be a few growing pains for me entering Pannonhalma considering I’m neither Benedictine nor even Catholic, and speak no Hungarian.  However, I have every confidence that I will be accepted with open arms and certainly not with raised eyebrows and confusingly stammered questioning.  I also understand they have an extensive library, so it’ll be a good chance to catch up on the latest Pratchetts and Evanovichs I haven’t gotten around to yet.  I especially look forward to making beer and wine, daily vespers, and the occasional visits from detectives looking to solve a murder in the abbey (preferably not my own, mind you).  Would it be gauche of me to start a podcast called Only Murders in the Abbey?  Derivative perhaps, but that’s for another day’s discussion.  And, as a sidenote, there is a geoart near the complex and I have no doubt that once I get bored with my devotions and duties, I will tackle it and report on my findings.  I don’t know if they’ll allow me to take my laptop, so my phone will have to suffice for updates.  Though, now that I think about it, what are they gonna do if I actually do bring my laptop?  Beat me up?

I guess my point here (and I do have one) is goodbye to the cruel and craven modern world and hello scenic Hungary!  UNESCO Heritage site or bust!