254. Dallas, Dallas County

Dallas is my least favorite city in Texas. It is the absolute last place I want to visit, therefore I made it the last place I would visit for the Challenge. I managed to avoid it during GeoWoodstock even though it sat there as a jewel, ripe to be plucked (if you don’t mind a mixed metaphor).  But no.  This was destined to be the last place I went for the Challenge.  As you can see, this courthouse is nothing to write home about, a modern, functional thing.

On the other hand, this beautiful beast is sitting across the street. Isn’t she lovely in red stone and concrete? But there’s something even more important. Across the street from them both is…

…Dealey Plaza. Under normal circumstances, nobody outside Dallas would have probably ever heard of it. Unfortunately, the day before Doctor Who premiered, someone was assassinated here. All joking aside, I did find a certain irony to finding my final cache at the location of an assassination on the birthday of a man who was also assassinated. The fact that the two men knew each other added an extra layer to it all, but in the greater scheme of things, these things happen. Men of power are more likely to have congress with one another and are more likely to meet such grisly ends. It is, for good or for ill, the way of things. For my purposes, though, the important thing was that there is a virtual here, The Grassy Knoll, named for a conspiracy theory surrounding the Kennedy assassination. The silly thing about it is that it took me forever because there were two ladies standing in front of my goal and every time I disengaged to reach it from a different angle, the two of them literally moved to block my path. After my fourth attempt, I just sat back and let them move. That took what felt like an eternity. They were just milling about watching the Zapruder film. And, no, that is not some kind of clever euphemism for moving lackadaisically. They were literally standing there, watching the film, changing perspectives, jabbering on about it. Once they moved far enough away, though, I swooped in for the proverbial kill…

BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!!!

It is accomplished! I did it! As I knew I could! Every county! Every courthouse! Two hundred and fifty-four counties trodden beneath my metaphorically sandaled feet! I would have let out a war whoop and done a little dance if I hadn’t been surrounded by muggles! And I guess this is supposed to be a location of respect and decorum or some kind of crap like that, too. Mini celebration or no, it was time to go. Not only was my parking meter running low at this point, but my body was starting to reject the city. I left my parking spot and took my place on my favorite parking lot (IH-35) to make the long, slow journey back to the city of my fathers. I had earned my triumphant return to the bosom of my home, not knowing my greatest challenge lay before me still…

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